2025.04.07

To cultivate good compassion, liberation from suggestion and the path of self-realization

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As human beings, we are unconsciously influenced in various ways in our interactions with others. It's as if our brains are connected to each other and exchange information in the depths of our consciousness, just as if we were sharing information through the Internet. The influence of particularly vocal people, such as parents, teachers, and people with whom we have close relationships, is deeply ingrained in our thoughts, feelings, and behavioral patterns, and can sometimes lead us to self-negative emotions and behaviors. This phenomenon is called "suggestion".

Article Contents

Living in the Right Center ~ What is Good Compassion?
- The identity of the suggestion and the message from the other

Living in the Right Center ~ What is Good Compassion?

In order for us to have "good compassion," it is essential that we first be in a state of happiness ourselves. It is a state in which you can devote yourself to the work that you sincerely want to challenge without feeling anxious or anxious in your daily life. A state in which you feel a great sense of fulfillment in the situation and role you are in, and you can truly enjoy it. And a state in which you can have a neutral point of view, not affirming or denying others. Furthermore, because you can believe in your own potential, you can truly believe in the potential of others.

When we are in such a happy state, we naturally emit positive energy, and people who pursue happiness in the same way gather around us. Together with them, we make use of our respective areas of expertise and exchange useful information with each other, and a cooperative relationship is naturally born. In this way, we can grow and develop together.

However, in reality, there are many people who are trapped in negative emotions such as "I always compare myself to others", "I am sure that people will betray me anyway", "Life is only about hard work", "Suffering always awaits after fun things", and "I am always anxious". If you feel that way, it suggests that there may be some kind of "suggestion" on you.

The identity of the suggestion and the message from the other

Surprisingly, many of the negative thoughts and feelings we have do not come from within ourselves, but are instilled by "suggestions" from others. We unconsciously accept the suggestions of others as if they were our own thoughts and replace them in our minds.

Unfortunately, such mechanisms of suggestion are rarely talked about in schooling and social life. That's why many people mistakenly think that negative thinking is part of their personality. However, by nature, we can live as neutral beings who neither affirm nor deny ourselves. This is an undeniable truth.

It's important to note here that this argument is never about blaming others for your personality quirks. We need to take responsibility for our own feelings and thoughts. But at the same time, we must also strive to understand the impact of suggestions from others on our psyche and to be free from them.

Mechanism of Suggestion, Information Transmission and Influence

Why do we receive suggestions from others? This is because in human relationships, it is easy to be influenced by the suggestion of a person who has a strong ability to transmit information, that is, the ability to transmit information. In particular, the people who have a great influence on us are our outspoken parents, teachers, and other people who have been closely involved. Their words and actions are deeply engraved in our minds and unconsciously form patterns of behavior and thought.

In particular, people who are called "good people" tend to listen carefully to what the other person has to say, so they are more susceptible to suggestion. They listen to the other person's words and actively accept the information, which makes it easy for them to unconsciously fall under the influence of the other person's suggestion.

Our brains have the ability to share information with others, just like the internet. It could be said that it is a kind of telepathic ability. When the brain accesses certain information, it is more susceptible to those with more power, that is, those with stronger power to communicate.

For example, in a parent-child relationship, most children are influenced by the words and actions of their parents. Children who are bombarded with the words "You can't do anything" by their parents will receive the suggestion of their parents' words and become self-aware that they are a bad child. As a result, the child repeats a pattern of behavior that does not meet the expectations of the parents, and eventually becomes a habit of saying "I don't care about myself anyway..." and begins to think in a subservient way.

However, this does not mean that the child himself really thinks that he is no good. Rather, parents are making their children think so. This is because, for parents, it is easier for them to manage their children if they make them feel that way, so that they do not leave their parents. My parents said, "That's why I told you, you listen to your parents. You can't do anything. Stay close to your parents," they try to dominate their children.

The source of fear and suggestion of loneliness

In the background of the suggestion that parents give to their children, there is often a feeling of "I don't want to be lonely". For example, if a father has the true intention of "I don't want my child to get ahead of me, and if my child advances more than me, I will be miserable," the child's brain will be implied that "if I get ahead, I will be unhappy." As a result, the child will be trapped in guilt when he gets ahead, and he will deny himself that he should not be happy only for himself. It feels like getting ahead and being happy is a bad thing.

However, it is not the child himself who makes the child feel that he will be unhappy if he gets ahead. It is none other than a father.

In addition, a mother who is not having a good marital relationship said, "I don't want my daughter to get married, and if she is gone, I will have to face my loneliness. I can't stand being alone," the daughter feels guilty about being away from her mother. It takes the suggestion of a "mother" who doesn't want to be lonely. As a result, the daughter either remains single without leaving her parents, or even if she gets married, her feelings become unstable and she tries to return to her parents.

In this way, the feeling of self-denial that you don't know why but why you feel sorry may be caused by the suggestion of someone other than yourself. It can be said that it is a state of copying other people's thoughts into your brain and becoming someone else.

Implication and the chain of learning and copying

Children grow up watching their parents. Babies learn movements by copying the movements of adults, and as they grow, they copy the thoughts of their parents and others. If you grow up watching parents who like to study, your child will love to study just like your parents. The reason why parents and children have similar thought processes and behavior patterns is because there is suggestion in children who are under the influence of their parents.

Children are in a state where their brains produce α waves that are suitable for learning, so they are easily intrigued by their parents and others. It is also an indication that you and your boss, who are always acting together, have a similar way of speaking and thinking before you know it.

In other words, the thoughts of people who have a strong ability to communicate other than themselves become suggestions that strongly influence people, and eventually become a part of that person's personality.

Behind the true intentions and words that are hidden in plain sight

A person's true intentions cannot be seen from the outside. People hide their true feelings. I honestly think, "I don't want my child to be better than me," but I play the role of a good parent. Then, while pretending to be worried, saying, "Society is not as naïve as you think, and it is worried about you," they repeat words and actions that discourage children.

Then, the child blames himself, saying, "My parents are worried about me, and it's my fault that I underestimate society," and loses his original sense of freedom. And they choose to be close to their parents.

Parents are also human, so they unconsciously follow their instincts. Take action to avoid life-sustaining dangers. Emotions such as "I don't want to be alone" and "I don't want to be miserable" are instinctive behaviors to protect yourself from loneliness. The feeling of loneliness that arises momentarily may not even be noticed by the person himself.

Daughter-in-law snoring is a behavior born from the mother's feeling of loneliness that her son has been taken away. In order to fill his loneliness, he blames and bullies his daughter-in-law and tries to get his son back.

In the case of parents and children, parents may make suggestions to their children in the name of education and discipline. If it's a good suggestion, that's fine, but if the parent's loneliness is strong, they will give the child negative information to fill that loneliness and subconsciously try to keep it under their control.

Liberation from suggestion and the first step to happiness

In order to break this negative spiral, as we said at the beginning, it is most important to first be happy with ourselves. By fulfilling yourself and gaining a sense of well-being, you will be less susceptible to negative suggestions from others.

In order to make yourself happy, you first need to listen to your inner voice and find out what you really want to do and what you really like. And by actively engaging in them and being passionate about them, you can feel fulfilled and happy.

It is also important to affirm yourself and acknowledge your worth. We are all unique, with incredible talents and potential. Finding your strengths and strengths and developing them can help you feel more confident.

In addition, it is important to stop comparing yourself to others and grow at your own pace. We all have different personalities and grow at different speeds. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you can increase your self-esteem by comparing yourself to your past self and realizing that you are growing, even if it is little by little.

And most importantly, be grateful. In our lives, we are supported and helped by various people. By being grateful, you can deepen your connection with the people around you and build richer relationships.

By making ourselves happy, we can emit positive energy and have a positive impact on those around us. And we can grow and develop together.

Freedom from suggestion is the first step towards self-realization. By believing in our own potential and acting proactively, we can live happier and more prosperous lives.

Summary: Good compassion comes from self-love

In order to have "good compassion," it is essential to first love and take care of yourself. By becoming aware of and freeing ourselves from suggestions from others, we can reach our full potential. And by making yourself happy, you can have a positive impact on the people around you and grow together. It can be said that "good compassion" comes from self-love. Taking care of yourself leads to compassion for others.

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