2025.04.08

A gentle time that is close to the heart ~ The story of love worries and the inner child ~

vibration

"I'm going to have the same kind of love again..."
"I can't forget that time..."
Love is supposed to be full of excitement and joy, but there are times when you wonder why it is so painful. Perhaps, in the back of your mind, there is a small "me" from the past that is quietly hidden.

From the time we are born, we grow up with a lot of emotions and experiences. In particular, childhood experiences can be deeply engraved in the foundational part of the mind and have a significant impact on the rest of your life. This "you" who still holds the memories and emotions of your childhood is sometimes called the "inner child."

Article Contents

The voice of the heart to overcome love worries

The voice of the heart to overcome love worries

The inner child is like a little girl who lives in the back of your mind. What made me happy, what I enjoyed, what made me sad, what made me scared, what made me sad... They are always watching over you in your heart, with all kinds of emotions.

If this inner child is hurt in a past relationship, it may repeat the same pattern in the current relationship, or may feel anxious and fearful. It's as if the wounds of the past are getting in the way of the current relationship.

But that's okay. By gently healing such an inner child, you will be freed from the worries of love and will be able to feel sincere happiness.

Pont

I want to heal the little girl inner child in me.
Please let us know.

Step 1 ・ Encounter with the inner child ~ Notice the small "me" in the heart ~

What is the Inner Child?

The inner child is an aspect of the mind that has been hurt or unfulfilled by past childhood experiences.

In particular, a lack of affection, negative words, and traumatic experiences have a significant impact on the inner child.

Your inner child may have the same emotions and thought patterns from your childhood, which can affect your current behavior and emotions.

For example, emotions that work negatively in love, such as anxiety about being abandoned and the belief that you are not worthy of being loved, may also be the influence of your inner child.

Gently retrace the memories of the past

When you were young, what kind of environment you grew up in, what was your relationship with your parents and family, what were your friendships... Let's try to remember gently.

In particular, experiences such as not feeling enough affection, being bombarded with negative words, and not being in a safe environment can have a significant impact on the inner child.

It is also a good idea to look at photos from that time and re-read the diary.

If painful memories come back to you and your heart is racing, don't overdo it and take a break.

Notice recurring love patterns

Let's take a look back at our past relationships.

Do you always end up falling in love with the same type of man or ending your relationship in the same pattern?

For example, there may be a specific pattern, such as "I always like a bad man," "I depend on the other person," "I get jealous quickly," or "I only do my best."

These patterns may have something to do with wounds in your inner child.

Jun

I was a little surprised. It's very similar to my love pattern. You need to heal your inner child

Step 2 ・ Dialogue with the inner child ~ Listen to the voice of the heart ~

Next, let's have a gentle dialogue with the little "me" in your heart.

Imagining a small "I"

Close your eyes and try to imagine yourself as a child.

What kind of facial expressions do they have? What kind of clothes are they wearing? How are you feeling?
It is also a good idea to refer to photos and memories of that time to create a more specific image.
You might be a little nervous, but that's okay. Your kind feelings will surely reach you.

Talking to the little "I"

Let's talk gently to the young self that you imagined.

Say things like, "That was hard," "You did a good job," or "It's okay."

Speak to her gently, as if you were hugging a little girl.

"You've done a good job on your own, and you're not alone anymore." Let's convey your warm feelings.

Accept the feelings of a small "me"

If your inner child expresses sadness, anger, fear, etc., don't deny it, but accept it gently.

Let's empathize with "That's how I felt" and snuggle up to them.
Your inner child wants to tell you how he or she has never been able to tell anyone before.
It is important not to suppress emotions and to let them express themselves with peace of mind.
If tears start to flow, don't force them to flow, but let them flow. It is a purification of the mind.

Step 3 ・ Heal your inner child ~ Gently wrap the wounds of the heart ~

Now it's time to heal your inner child.

Develop a sense of self-esteem

Let's rewrite the belief that "I don't deserve to be loved" that my inner child has with a positive sense of self-affirmation.

Find a lot of good things about you and praise them verbally.
Look in the mirror and say kind words to yourself, such as "You're cute today" or "You're doing a good job."
It can also be helpful to remember past successes and try new things.
It doesn't matter if it's a small thing, so let's feel a lot of joy that "I was able to do it!" and develop confidence.
Tell your inner child that you are wonderful just the way you are.

Time to pamper yourself

Let's fulfill a lot of what your inner child wants.

Eat delicious food, watch your favorite movie, take a rest, play to your heart's content... Do a lot of things that make your heart happy.
It's also a good idea to try things that you wanted to do when you were younger and that you put up with.
Allow yourself to indulge yourself, saying, "It's as good as today."
To make the little girl happy, you can wear cute clothes and put on her favorite accessories.

Heal the wounds of the past

Remember painful experiences from the past and release your emotions.

Tear it up, express your sadness out loud, draw a picture, write a sentence, or vent your emotions in a way that suits you.
If you feel that the trauma of the past is too deep to handle alone, don't overdo it and consider seeking professional counseling.
A mental health specialist can provide gentle support to heal your emotional wounds.

Forgive your past self

Stop blaming your past choices and actions from your current perspective.

At that time, you must have been doing your best.
By understanding and forgiving yourself at the time, you will be able to move on to the future without being bound by the past.
Say "thank you" to your past self and give them a gentle hug.

Step 4 ・ One step towards a new love ~ Listen to the voice of your heart ~

Once your inner child has healed, it's time to take a step toward a new relationship.

Listen to your heart

Let's listen carefully to what kind of relationship your inner child is looking for.

If you're looking for a sense of security, choose a partner who is kind and inclusive, and if you have a strong need for approval, choose a partner who can give you positive words.
Let's honestly follow the voice of your heart that says, "I want to have this kind of relationship."

Set healthy boundaries

Stop being too dependent on them or being overly attuned to them.

Take care of your feelings and needs and build a relationship that is comfortable with you.
Don't be afraid to say no.
It is very important to protect your own heart.

Fill Yourself with Love

In the process of healing your inner child, fill yourself with love to the fullest.

By accepting and valuing yourself as you are, you will be more likely to receive affection from others.
By loving yourself, you will be able to have a more independent relationship.
"I love me," you say in your mind over and over again.
You are wonderful and worthy of being loved.

More tips for gentle cuddling

Meditation and mindfulness – Focusing on the present moment can help you stay calm and not dwell on past traumas.

Journaling: Writing down your emotions and thoughts can help you gain a deeper understanding and organization of your inner world.
Through art therapy, music therapy, and expression, you can release and heal emotions that cannot be put into words.
Asking someone you trust to listen to you, or having a friend, family member, or professional counselor listen to you, can make you feel better.

What is important

Healing your inner child is something that you work on slowly and over time. Don't be impatient, don't blame yourself, be kind, and be close to me.
If you're having a hard time, don't go through it alone, get professional help. There is always someone who will listen to your heart.

Trouble in love isn't just about you. There are many people who are struggling in the same way.
So, please don't hold it alone, but take your time and heal your inner child at your own pace.

And someday, I hope you will have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
I sincerely hope that your future will be full of love and joy.

I want to read it together