Is the profit and loss account already old?! Promoting new relationships that bring a sense of distance between hearts
In human relationships, the "profit and loss account" of weighing profits and losses was once the norm. However, in modern times, it is more important to shorten the distance between the hearts and minds. Because physical distance can now be easily transcended, deepening emotional connections is the key to relationships in the new era.
Relationships based on profit and loss accounts may provide temporary benefits, but they tend to be less prolonging. Therefore, there is a lot of attention being paid to ways to build richer and more fulfilling relationships by shortening the distance between hearts and minds beyond superficial interactions.
So, how exactly can you bring people closer and build deeper trust? Next, let's take a closer look at the approach and practical examples.
- What is a traditional profit-and-loss account-centered relationship?
- What is emotional distance? The concept of new relationships
- Specific approaches to bring hearts closer
- Start now! Practical examples of building new relationships
- The future brought about by new relationships that transcend profit and loss accounts
What is a traditional profit-and-loss account-centered relationship?
Why is a profit and loss account created and how does it affect you?
The profit and loss account is a way of thinking that emphasizes whether there is a benefit to oneself, and in human relationships, we tend to judge whether it is a "gain" or a "loss" based on the behavior and qualities of the other person. This kind of thinking is something that humans instinctively develop in order to protect themselves and survive in society, especially in today's highly competitive society.
However, if you get too caught up in the profit and loss account, you may lose sight of the essence of your relationships and lose sight of yourself. For example, by balancing on "how can I benefit from being involved with this person?" it is not uncommon to miss out on opportunities to build mutual trust and foster deep bonds. As a result, relationships remain superficial and temporary, and it is difficult to find emotional satisfaction for oneself.
5 Negative Effects of Profit and Loss Accounts on Relationships
There are many negative effects of relationships centered on profit and loss accounts. First of all, seeing the other person as a "useful being" reduces honest communication and dilutes true understanding and connection. Second, asking too much in return can lead to disappointment and frustration, which can easily lead to a deterioration in relationships.
Third, they are more likely to compare themselves to others on terms, which makes them more susceptible to jealousy and excessive competitiveness. Fourth, they may not be able to accept loss or failure, which can make it difficult to see things as opportunities for learning and growth. And fifth, the relationship often breaks down the moment the other person falls outside the framework of interests, which carries the risk of deepening the feeling of loneliness.
These negative effects suggest that a profit and loss account that may seem useful in the short term can also hurt your own happiness and satisfaction in the long run.
Strengthening profit and loss accounts from a social perspective
Behind the strengthening of profit and loss accounts in modern society are social factors such as intensifying competition and the pursuit of efficiency. For example, while results-based emphasis is placed on business and the work environment, there is also a tendency to value "efficient gains" in human relationships. Therefore, we tend to judge what kind of person we build a relationship with based on economic and material conditions.
In addition, the proliferation of social media and digital media has also spurred the strengthening of profit and loss accounts. Every time we see a post of superficial success or happiness, we start to compare ourselves to others and measure our self-worth on a measure of merit or success. This trend has led to a society that tends to focus on convenience and superficial benefits rather than deep connections, and has fostered an awareness of sorting relationships based on "conditions."
However, it is in such a society that new values and perspectives are needed to build deeper relationships.
What is emotional distance? The concept of new relationships
The sense of distance between the mind is seen from a psychological point of view
Psychologically, the sense of distance refers to the degree of psychological closeness and connection you feel with others. This sense of distance changes depending on the level of trust, empathy, and relationship with the other person. For example, it is common to feel close to family and close friends, while maintaining a certain distance from people who are only business associates. This sense of distance is adjusted by understanding the other person and emotional connection, but it tends to be shallow in relationships where profit and loss accounts are emphasized. One of the ways in which relationships work surprisingly well is by being aware of this emotional distance and bringing it closer appropriately.
The benefits of a close relationship
There are many benefits to a close emotional relationship. First of all, having a sense of trust and security with each other will reduce the burden on your mind. The feeling of being able to rely on the other person unconditionally brings psychological stability. In addition, by increasing emotional empathy, it becomes easier to sense the other person's feelings, and conflicts and misunderstandings are reduced. In addition, close relationships provide the foundation for long-term connections and allow for genuine interactions that are not tied to a profit and loss account. By building these relationships, you will be able to live a richer life without losing yourself.
The Challenges of Emotional Distance in Modern Society
In modern society, there are more and more situations where it is difficult to bring the distance between the hearts and minds. While online connections have increased, actual face-to-face interactions have decreased, and connections between people tend to be shallow. In addition, in their busy daily lives, they often do not have time to deepen their relationships with others, and there is a growing tendency to judge others based on their conditions alone. In particular, people who build relationships based on profit and loss accounts are more likely to lose the opportunity to deepen trust. As a result, more and more people feel lonely and alienated, making it difficult for them to understand each other. In order to face this issue, it is necessary to be aware of the distance between the hearts and to seek essential connections rather than superficial ones.
Specific approaches to bring hearts closer
Practice for cultivating a "heart of giving"
It is said that people who live on a profit and loss account often lose sight of themselves. The attitude of only looking for benefits and rewards for oneself can cause relationships to be strained. In order to improve this situation, it is important to cultivate a heart of giving to others. Specifically, let's first practice "gratuitous kindness" in our daily lives. For example, small actions such as "carrying someone's luggage" or "helping someone in need" are the first step. Also, by not expecting anything in return, you will find that the burden of your profit and loss account will be lightened. With this kind of practice, you'll gradually learn how to make your relationships work amazingly.
Dialogue techniques to increase empathy
Empathy is an essential part of reducing the distance between the two hearts. In order to develop empathy, it is necessary to master the art of conscious dialogue. First of all, it is important to have an attitude of listening carefully to what the other person is saying. By making an effort to understand the feelings and position of the other person, rather than asserting one's own opinion unilaterally, you will naturally become closer to your heart. You can also give the other person a sense of security by using empathetic words such as "This is how I felt" or "That was painful." Through the accumulation of these small things, we can build richer relationships.
New rules of communication that respect each other
In order to move away from a relationship based on profit and loss accounts, it is necessary to create new communication rules that respect each other. The basis of these rules is "compassion" and "integrity". First of all, respect the other person's ideas and values without denying them. For example, even if a discussion becomes heated, you can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts by avoiding words that disapprove of the other person. It is also important to be sincere. Trust is fostered by taking the time to share your true feelings, rather than just a superficial relationship. Being aware of these rules will help you build a heartwarming relationship where profit and loss accounts don't get involved.
Start now! Practical examples of building new relationships
How to close the emotional distance at work
The key to bringing people closer together in the workplace is to go beyond the profit and loss account. Specifically, it is important to keep in mind communication based on "care" and "empathy". When you're busy with your day-to-day work, be proactive in thanking your colleagues, bosses, and subordinates, and praise them for their efforts as well as your accomplishments. For example, if you are in trouble with a colleague and reach out without thinking about the gains and losses, you can deepen trust and build better relationships.
In addition, many people tend to focus on "what to say" in the workplace, but by focusing on "what to ask", you can better understand the other person's feelings. This "ability to listen" is an important skill that shortens the distance between the minds. In workplace relationships, eliminating profit and loss accounts and honest communication will lead to smoother teamwork and better outcomes.
Examples of Practice at Home and in Friendships
At home and in friendships, if you are conscious of "unconditional love" that is not bound by profit and loss accounts, it will be easier to shorten the distance between your hearts. For example, if you value time with your family and listen to them even when you are tired, they will feel understood and feel safe. It is also important to keep in mind that friendships go beyond "interests."
Specifically, by trying to help a friend when they are in trouble without worrying about gain or loss, and by having the habit of continuing to do small acts of kindness and care, you will naturally deepen your relationship of trust. Furthermore, it is important to try to look at the other person's personality and strengths rather than their conditions. Especially in today's world, virtual interactions are on the rise, but face-to-face interactions and gifts with a little feeling are also points to deepen your understanding with the other person.
How to use connections in local communities
In the local community, fostering a "mutual spirit" away from the profit and loss account is the key to shortening the distance between the hearts. For example, it is effective to deepen connections with local residents through voluntary participation in the activities and events of the residents' association. At that time, it is important not to think about whether you will gain or lose, but to act with a feeling of consideration for the community.
In addition, by keeping in mind daily greetings and talking to each other, the emotional barriers between residents will be eliminated and natural interaction will be created. In addition, the use of the "sharing economy," which has recently attracted attention, is also effective as a means of building a relationship of trust that goes beyond profit and loss accounts. For example, efforts to share the burden of each other, such as exchanging food and helping each other raise children, will lead to the building of warm relationships.
The future brought about by new relationships that transcend profit and loss accounts
Why do relationships that are close to the heart create happiness?
The reason for the happiness brought about by close relationships lies in the sense of security brought about by "unconditional connection." A person who lives on a profit and loss account must always think about his gains and losses. As a result, it is difficult to build trust in the other person, and it is easy to feel lonely and stressed. On the other hand, in a relationship where you are close to each other, you can be natural with each other and help each other without asking for anything in return. This kind of relationship brings a sense of comfort and warmth to the heart, and it makes relationships surprisingly smooth. By deepening the sense of trust, the sense of happiness increases and enriches life.
The Possibility of New Human Relationships from the Perspective of Society as a Whole
Relationships that go beyond the profit and loss account have a positive impact not only on the well-being of the individual, but also on society as a whole. In a society driven by profit and loss, competition and division are likely to arise, and cooperation and community bonds are weakened. However, when a close relationship expands, a community based on trust is formed and a spirit of mutual help is fostered. This will make it possible to create a society that is not bound by specific interests and that embraces diversity and creates the future together. Such a society has the potential to develop more flexibly and sustainably.
Tips for surviving in the coming era
In the future, human relationships that are "connected by the heart" will be required rather than relationships based on mere profit and loss accounts. Technological advances and societal changes have made it easier for relationships to temporarily prioritize physical distancing and profit. In order to survive in modern society, it is important to first cultivate a "spirit of giving" and build a relationship of trust with others. You can also build deep relationships by increasing empathy and being aware of respectful dialogues. The attitude of genuinely enjoying human relationships without being bound by profit and loss accounts will be a great strength to overcome the uncertain times ahead.
